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And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming…
People don’t see things the way they are. People see things the way they are.
If you’re unhappy with the way things are, maybe it’s time to change the way you are.
Huh?
Walk with me for a moment.
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We’re inherently self-centered creatures, but this doesn’t mean we’re inherently selfish. It’s a biological and evolutionary imperative honed for our own survival. Our innate nature is to keep our own interests and care front and center.
At the same time, we’re terrible at seeing ourselves clearly. Although we care about ourselves first and foremost, we are also inherently social creatures, programmed and conditioned to pay attention to each other.
Enter status games (and status anxiety), causing us to ask ourselves questions like “Where do I stand?” and “What’s expected?” The scrutiny and expectations of others unconsciously determine our drives and desires far more often than our own conscious aspirations and guiding principles.
All to say, we spend way more time looking out the window than looking in the mirror. (I’m speaking metaphorically, of course. But you get the idea.)
Looking out the window without checking the mirror first causes us to pay attention to who we are not and what we don’t have. It encourages feelings of lack and less-than.
What to do?
Before you turn your gaze out the window, grab the mirror and check in with yourself by answering a few questions like, “Where am I?” “What am I doing?” “How am I doing it?” and “Why am I doing it?” Then, measure those responses against who you are and seeking to become.
When you live your life from the inside out, you keep the main thing the main thing and cultivate the self-awareness, self-efficacy, and self-trust you need to play your game on your terms without falling into the comparison trap.1
Choose yourself. Choose your future.
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Timely post for me this morning Scott. Thanks!